I must try

I have been living with the fear of failure.

• Fear of writing because it will be boring.
• Fear of saying the wrong thing in a technical discussion.
• Fear of nobody responding to a post I create.
• Fear of launching a business because it will probably fail.
• Fear of creating content because it will have 0 views.
• Fear of reaching out because what if I'm ignored.
• Fear of publishing unfinished work.

So I retreated, and spent my time consuming content of the highest educational quality. Pretending to eventually use what I had learned in the future.

I became a chronic reader of every post which intersects programming and business. Which was helpful, until a point. I found my programming taste, I soaked in audio and video content from superb technical writers, podcasters and creators. But I lack original pain and understanding.

• I do not need to read HackerNews and X posts everyday.
• I do not need to listen to the All In Podcast every week.
• I do not need to read another 'Lean Startup' like book or article.
• I do not need to read another technical post on a problem I do not have.

I must build real world software. This will involve sticking my neck out and being vulnerable.

• I will look stupid.
• I will fail multiple times.
• I will be made fun of.
• I will make mistakes.
• I will make content with no views.
• I will ship projects that fall short of the taste I aspire to.

What clicked for me is when I learned the worst possible outcome still has many benefits.

• I might build a product which no one uses, but I will learn.
• I might write posts which no one reads but writing brings clarity.
• I might cold reach out and hear nothing back but that is okay.
• I might look dumb in front of someone I respect but that is a chance to improve.

Doing something is a considerably better path than doing nothing.